Sunday evening I sat scripting out my week on my new notepad, listing all the things I planned to accomplish to feel great about myself 🙂 I felt energized from the early morning hours in church that had obviously equipped me for a high-achieving, amazing week. But in fact I had it all wrong, one call the following morning spiraled my week in a different direction leaving the days following unscripted and messy. In my selfish mentality I had come to believe all God had poured into me was actually just all for me to do great things for myself. In his graciousness he was actually equipping me to have the energy to battle and defend the least of these this week.
Here I sit in my kitchen glancing over at my pretty little list that has only has one line crossed off it, knowing in a few short hours I am out the door for another day of battling while my list sits untouched. This morning I would rather sit at the feet of my King filling my heart with eternal truths then run out and fill my barren fridge with groceries. I think we are actually more like Jesus when we throw the list up in the air for the week let him have rule over our time as we simply cry out, Here I am Lord, Send me. The fridge can wait to be filled, my dresser drawers can wait to have pretty pressed clothes, my floors can shine a little coffee ground dust today because some weeks there is a battle we are called to war in that can’t wait till I have free time.
Quietly He leads me by still waters, He leads me back to the truth, this isn’t my story, my life, my desires. This is his story and I am given the privilege to partake in God’s story right here, right now if I am willing to let go of the strong grip of my time. I don’t want to miss out on the great adventure he has because I find a trivial list easier to give my time to than people.