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Letters to my Babes // One year old

Happy Birthday Brooklyn Rene and Eliana Grace.

One year we’ve been together, mama with her girls, but I have carried you in my heart for

7 years and 8 months.

For almost 8 years I have loved you,

6 years I fought for you on my knees with blood, sweat, tears before a God who hears.

8 months I carried you close within my body  

12 months I’ve held you in my arms

When I see those baby blues and hazel eyes looking right at me I feel the culmination of love pouring out upon me, drenching me in joy.

Of all the years I have dreamed, cried, and loved you I have had one burning desire ignite in my soul for you–

That you may know how loved you are by me, your dad and by your Maker.

Love, a word you will soon learn baby girls, is thrown around too easily in this world. But my love for you is a fiery, consuming love that pushed me to the brink of despair as I fought for your little lives.

A small seed planted in my heart to become a mother many years ago. And with each passing year my love only grew for the girls I longed to love.

Girls, my biggest fear was that using medical help would hinder your life as you see God. But I soon discovered for my own self, you were wonderfully and fearfully made by God and God alone.

He created you for such a time as this.

Now is your time here on earth.

You started out as a dream sown deep within my heart,

Then on to tiny embryos with chosen names in a medical office

To living inside me as I grew you

And then your day had come,

July 25, 2015.

Your birth day.

To my baby A, Brooklyn Rene,

I often cried to the Lord to give me cool water for my heart wandering in the desert of infertility. You would find your mama in the scriptures finding comfort in Isaiah 43:19,

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

I would seek and beg God for a brook… fresh, cool water for our dry desert. For the newness of life. And there your first name was born,

Brooklyn. A stream in our wilderness.

Shortly before your great Aunt Susan passed away she prayed for me on hard days when I longed to have my babies and I know there was a love for you and your sister before you were even conceived.

I wanted to honor your aunt Susan’s life by sharing her middle name Rene with you. Rene, meaning Reborn.

My sweet Brooklyn, it seemed right that a stream reborn was just the name burning on my heart for you, my girl.

To my baby B, Eliana Grace,

Before you mama began her infertility treatments I laid in bed praying and dreaming over the children I loved already in my heart. Early one morning a name I had never heard before was placed in my heart with a passion. I jumped from bed, grabbed my phone and quickly googled Eliana. Tears fell down my face as my eyes gazed upon your name. “My God has answered”

You were an answer to prayer and petition. I knew this was your name before you were even conceived. Before I knew you would begin growing within, you had a name and were loved by name.

Your daddy thought fitting, that because your life was nothing but God’s grace upon us that you should be called, Eliana Grace.

My sweet Eliana, you are God’s answer to us with grace.

My precious girls, you are loved. Today you are one years old and I celebrate with joy your life. For I hope you come to always know,

your life is:

A gift

An answer to years of prayers

Breathed into existence by a God, a heavenly father who is madly in love with his girls.

Today as we celebrate your Birthday we look back and remember that journey so that we can stand together as a family of 4 today and thank God for the story he has been writing.

I want your first Birthday, and every Birthday from here on out to be holy ground. Where we stop and declare God’s faithfulness. July 25 will forever be a “memory stone” day.

Just like Joshua was commanded to have 12 memory stones as signs for the children to know the miracles God has performed. Your Birthday is not just a celebration of your birth, no your Birthday is our memory stones. That we declare the miracles God has done.

In the days to come, when your children ask their fathers, ‘What are these stones doing here?’ tell your children this: ‘Israel crossed over this Jordan on dry ground.’… This was so that everybody on earth would recognize how strong God’s rescuing hand is and so that you would hold God in solemn reverence always.”

So today as I say, “Happy Birthday Brooklyn Rene and Eliana Grace!” I declare that before God and you, calling this Birthday of yours a memory stone and sacred day.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Stand bold my girls, for you are forever loved.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

   you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

   Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

   I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

   you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

   how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

   all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

   before I’d even lived one day.

Brooklyn Rene is 18 lbs 4 oz and Eliana Grace is 20 lbs and 7 oz.



If you want to read more letters to my Babes click here.

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