This morning we had Occupational Therapy and it was hands down the hardest therapy session to-date on my mama heart, I cried, she cried, yet though all the tears we were making progress.
This girl has my heart in big ways and it was so counterintuitive to not rescue her during her session today. For the first time, they had me stand aside and not console or pick her up so they could teach her coping skills. As my baby girl cried out for me repeatedly, melted down, I couldn’t take it. I just stood there cheering her on in my heart with big tears strolling down my face with my mama love crying from the inside out. I wanted to go swoop up my girl and hold her tight, and let her know I hadn’t left her, but I knew that wasn’t what was best for her in that moment.
On the drive home from therapy my heart felt fragile. The conflicted emotions kept toying with my heart as I was replaying the last hour through my head. I couldn’t shake the strong feelings of having to watch my daughter cry out for me and I stand by.
Then Jesus spoke over my heart…He let me see His Fatherly love for me through my heart for Brooklyn. I saw the way he sees me and his heart for me when I falsely believe he’s abandoned me, yet in reality he’s standing next to me the whole time on my side. God used a hard emotional therapy morning to show me his Love is far greater than I ever imagined.
This morning I thought Occupational Therapy was for my sweet girl today, but really was for me too.