I have fought hard to understand what in the heck is God doing in our lives over the last year, but specifically the last 6 months and finally I am getting to a point where I am laying down the energy to fight and simply letting go–completely surrendering–where I stop asking what and why and just rest in his promises.
It’s been a rough journey of confusion and frustration yet he is so faithful and led me to a place of deep peace. Peace in knowing he is in control when I can’t see one single step ahead. He is in charge of the whole world, even my tiny life and therefore I don’t have to worry. I just have to live for today, because he will take care of my tomorrow. Even if my “living” for today has looked like survival mode I am learning to live in the raging storms one day at a time.
Finding freedom. I have found freedom in letting go of the future, in the why, in the confusion. Freedom to let it all go, to stop worrying and live in the today, the small chapter of His story he is writing in my life. Freedom in trusting Him who knows the number of hairs on my head, my first breath to my last breath and every day in between.
Part of this season of seeking and asking has led us to an unexpected trip to go and see. Tomorrow we embark on an adventure….an adventure that I don’t fully understand but we go with hearts abandoned.
We go expecting to hear.
We go with hearts to know.
We go with a spirit of desperation, speak Lord, speak.
We go because comfort bids us to not go.
We go because fear says stay.
We go in faith.
Tomorrow we go. We jump on a plane and head 2,000 miles south in faith, with hearts open, saying here we are Lord, your will be done as earth as it is in Heaven.
At the end of the day, regardless of the outcome, I think that is all he desires. A heart that calls out in desperation, completely abandoned to His call.
“Everyday we face the decision to settle for an easy & comfortable life, or to go to the harder way- and go make disciples.” *from yesterdays timely message from John Mark (to listen to the message click here.)
I will be blogging this week about our travels so please come back to read more and join us on this journey. Also click here to also follow the journey on Instagram