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Even if, I trust.

My morning coffee meditations — T R U S T.

It’s a word I’ve been sitting with. Mediating on what this truth looks like in my life.

This last week I went back to a favorite proverbs memory verse many of us know by heart.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding…”

I kept circling back to the line, “my own understanding,” which for me boils down to control. I want to know why, how, what.

I want to understand WHY this is happening. That’s how I attempt to be okay with what is happening. If I can just understand it then I can accept it… But can I be ok without knowing, like Job?

Trusting God in all situations is often foggy and without understanding. As I am learning, it takes faith, a deeper level of faith as we face different circumstances that sometimes simply make no sense.

I was led to Job this morning, rereading one line over and over…

“Even though He would Kill me, yet I will trust in Him.”

Or another translation, “though he slay me, yet I will hope in him.”

Do I so trust in Gods love and grace that I can let go of the why and whatever the end results may be and simply be content with who HE is?

I can tell you what my head wants to say and what my heart has been wrestling through are very different.
Is He enough for me, that I can release the why, surrender the control and let my soul find rest in who God says He is?

Is it true of me, to speak like Job, Even if, even if I don’t ever know why, you are good God.

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