Coffee with Katie
the Blog
Making and Remaking: Our Sweet 16!
June 30, 2021
previous Anniversary post: 8, 9, 10, 11 , 12, 13, 14, and 15
Sweet 16, sweet as honey year.
“Couples don’t fall out of love as much as they fall out of repentance.” “A good marriage isn’t something you find, it’s something you make. And you have to keep on making it.” “Great marriages know how to recover well.”
I can attest to all 3 of those wise sentences over the 16 years, it takes selfless repentance, creativity to keep on making your marriage, and recovering from the hits and trials life may bring.
Grace upon Grace.
Recently, this year, the two of us ventured to Florida where we enjoyed a trip simply to just have some fun together. (Little did we know we thought this was “anniversary trip,” when we got home we got a surprise call to go to Maui for 9 days… so we got 2 fun trips to celebrate our 16th year. A SWEET 16!)
Prior to kids, we were married for 10 years and traveling and was something we valued in our marriage… we found healing and joy in exploring the world together. Since having 3 little girls under the age of 5 has made it a little harder to getaway, so the trips we do take, I value them all the more in this season.
As we were walking on the white sugar sand down in Florida, it struck me… I think sometimes we think we can’t put effort into our marriage unless there’s an urgency to, due to a crisis or we feel pressed to because life is crushing us. But over the years I’ve learned, you don’t need a crisis or burnout to getaway and enjoy each other.
I’ve found, it’s hard to dream together in the storms of life or simply just have FUN for the sake of FUN when you are swimming in the tougher seasons trying to keep your heads above waters. When you’re in survival mode- it’s hard to live beyond that bubble.That’s what that week in Florida reminded me, marriages need to invest in having more FUN — just because!! and you don’t have to justify the reason other than FUN itself.
When you are raising babes and in the grind of working hard, we find we don’t get a whole lot of opportunities to be together, face to face, as friends. I am a deeply intentional person– almost to a downfall. I want intention and purpose to be woven into everything…. and sometimes having FUN and getting away, just because, is all the purpose needs to be.
It’s planting seeds into your marriage that will invest a good fruit over the years.
I wrote this on our 11th Anniversary…. 5 years later, I feel this even deeper.
The rest of my days on earth I don’t need the love of anyone else’s, only yours
I just need your love.
Because your love is all I yearn for.
Recently, in the midst of a tense season, after long hours of conversation we stood up and you held me tight as I cried. I leaned back into the comfort of your arms, and lifted my eyes to yours and uttered those words to you.
Because after all we’ve walked through together, you my love, standing next to me is all I need to keep me breathing.
Your love, your presence is my oxygen
When I reach for your hand to hold, then I once can inhale again.
Love is intoxicating, courageous, grand, and sweet as honey.
Yet, this type of love is not forged in the calm open waters of life.
No, as we know, this depth of love is forged in the depths of seas.
Forged In the storms of the seas we sail right into.
—————
On a hot and sunny afternoon on July 1, 2005 we sailed out of the harbor together with adventurous spirits ready to hit the wide open spaces of the seas filled with wonder, dreams, and opportunities.
We have enjoyed our quiet seasons under blue skies and peaceful waters coasting along, enjoying life
But then the winds shifted its course, and we were hit with storm after storm after storm.
There were times we thought we would be able to catch our breaths only to find us battening down the hatches once again.
But under those thick dark storm clouds that pounded us with rain soaked days and nights we became “sailors” who held hands in the questions, doubts, confusion, and pain.
And just like seasoned sailors, we’ve learned on this adventure of life in marriage, we often can’t control the winds or storms, but we can navigate the moments together, side by side, hand in hand.
And here we are [16] years into this marriage, now we sail in a whole new directions, stronger, learning together what this new map looks like.
I love Florida! I went to St. Petersburg and Tampa a few times on work trips. Jeff was able to go a couple times with me before the pandemic days.
One thing we’ve always taken away from vacations and travel…we always return with a new outlook, interesting insight, or something else new. Often unexpected. It’s really cool!