As March 12th draws near, God had been making me Battle Ready. Though I think my life has been an adventure to become battle ready, this is different. I sense the weight of this Tent Ministry very differently. I have been around the world sharing the Gospel— Belize, Scotland, Africa, a lot of junior and high school camps… but right here in Panama City Beach holds a different weight. I have done a lot of weeping around my home the last few weeks as I sense a convergence of walking into a vision I was given two years ago, partnered with the Lord setting me on fire to make me Battle Ready. This fire as of late has hurt a little… God asked me to deny myself, comforts, even sacrificing some “big things” to be available to him. I feel like God wants me dead to my comforts of the world in every way possible before my feet enter this specific battleground. God setting me on fire has been less about burning with passion but more of the fire burning away the places in my heart that need to be purified.
This morning I was up at 3:30, the enemy taunting me… “Who are you a 5’1 woman, a mom, who came from the Pacific Northwest to come to Panama City Beach because God told you to and bring these 5 tents vs. 500,000+ Spring Breakers? You’re going to get swallowed by rowdy crowds, so what’s the point?” I know the enemy’s voice because I know the Spirit’s so well. I know the promises God has made me even the last 2 years. But still the whispers began stirring anxious thoughts, so I was out of bed quickly and with my freshly brewed coffee, I crawled into a ball into my couch, before I could even open the scriptures or utter my prayer I cried out all my raw fears before the Lord.
The intensity of the battlefield vision has burned in my soul for 2 years… and God led me to move here to Florida because of it. There is this intensity in my conversations with the Lord as of late. I think because I didn’t think I would be doing any sort of ministry this quickly and I feel like I am not ready enough. I just moved here! I thought next year! But when the Spirit speaks and moves you can’t hold your expectations with tight firsts. I’ve cried out to the Lord in just a stripped-back, as real as I can get faith… “are you going to show me what I saw in the vision? Is this really the frontlines that I moved my family across the country in faith for? Do it Lord. In our time! Let us see it.”
Recently a few people have led me back to Gideon so I opened Judges and spent time rereading Judges 6-8 and the story of Gideon… where God led him to victory with just 300 men.
I love when God first calls Gideon he says, “Go with the strength you have, I am sending you…” (Judges 6:14)
And just like God told Gideon, I too believe it will never be about any of my strength… so go anyways. It’s all God’s battle and strength. Go anyways.
I think many of us, me included, we like to wait until we FEEL ready enough, have more experience, have time to train and recruit, or simply gain more knowledge. But feelings aren’t a good indicator of how to obey God. Usually, feelings talk us out of walking in faith. “Faith is certain of what we do NOT see.” If I am waiting until I feel ready to go into Battle or SEE enough evidence to obey, I WILL NEVER GO. Nor will you. I don’t think Jesus ever felt like dying on a cross either. Feelings will lead us astray in our obedience to the Father if they are our only navigation to obedience.
Walking into this battle is jumping in with FAITH that God is going to do what he said he promised. Gideon saw God widdle his army from 32,000 to 300 so that God would get ALL the glory.
God getting all the glory means submitting all my weakness and obedience to simply do what he says. Any other way I think robs him of his glory. Who am I to stand in the way of my Savior and say this plan of his isn’t best? Oh that our Faith would be increased in this hour!
“Even though He would kill me, yet I will trust in Him.”
I will trust him straight into Battle. Lack of trust in our Father can be a wall that keeps us out of the battles God is calling us into. Lack of trust in the goodness of our Father robs him the opportunity to display his glory in all our weaknesses.
Though the enemy taunts so loudly at this point in the battle, there is nothing that can shake me. I’ve walked to the brink of death and back where I was left with a surrendered faith to say, “I will trust you… even if____.” The only thing I can do to thank Jesus for giving me more days on earth is to give my life away. All of myself away for his sake, his glory. Even if I feel like I am marching into Battle like David with 3 little stones and a tall Giant taunting me….
I trust Jesus, the King of Kings.
Make us Battle Ready.
“Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known…”